I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
