Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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