I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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