I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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