So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
