yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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