Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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