We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
