They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
