Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
