dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
