I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
