3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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