idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize