Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
