I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
is wine microwaveable?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize