She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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