this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just pee around me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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