whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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