so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
