party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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