ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
only you would photoshop your dick
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
