OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
