Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's blow job season.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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