Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
