i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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