the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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