I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
