Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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