dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm passing your future prison.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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