We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
