Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Its about making memories worth repressing
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize