Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
