I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize