I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize