singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
