I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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