Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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