I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
