I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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