belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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