So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
