Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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