one word: firstdatebathroomanal
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
