this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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