so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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