I want to stick my p in your. b.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The air was thick with penises
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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