So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
