i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
