it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize