Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
