did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
