Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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