Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i out mim tonsoeep
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