And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My penis needs a shock collar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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