i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
