Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
