You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
