guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
