im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
