I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You ate ashes out of my bong
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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