Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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