just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
