All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
