Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
