I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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