Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I touched a dick in church today
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
