so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I have post one night stand depression
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