I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
