so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
