i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
