come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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