Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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