I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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