More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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