It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Randomize