I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
