He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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